This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Randomize
