About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
