I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
i want to fuck
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it's pretty self explanatory
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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