I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
