You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
