he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
