I wish i was in the wii world.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
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