he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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