So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Randomize
