Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
