I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
a search helicopter?!
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
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