I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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