Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
