I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
We just shotgunned beers for America
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
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