dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Randomize
