i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
only you would photoshop your dick
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
