I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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