oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
