I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
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