remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
