I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Randomize
