Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Randomize
