i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
