She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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