Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
