okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
