Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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