My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
