I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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