Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Randomize
