Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize