: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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