Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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