i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Randomize
