I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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