been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
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