im holly from the hills drunk
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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