So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
