I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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