So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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