that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
