4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
