Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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