Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
