I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
