Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
