Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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