Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
