Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
