I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
