We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
