i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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