The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
